


Erase My Scars

by JasnNCarly



Series: Johnny Zacchara and His Ladies [1]
Category: General Hospital
Genre: Drabble Series, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-17
Updated: 2012-11-17
Packaged: 2020-06-28 11:42:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19811590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasnNCarly/pseuds/JasnNCarly
Summary: Drabble series which centers around Lisa Niles.





	1. Chapter 1

**Breath:**  
  
 _“You can never come back to this town; leave it in your rearview, understand?”_  
  
Her ebony eyes were fixated on the door, his warning on loop in her mind as she debated her decision; biting the corner of her thumb, she hoped to distract herself with the irritated skin.  
  
It had been nearly five months since his last phone call, and she convinced herself that digging into the past was her means of returning the favor – keeping him safe.  
  
She entered the café, taking a seat at one of the unoccupied computers and typing in two simple words.   
  
_Port Charles._  
  
 **Crime:**  
  
 _The Tale of Two Mad Docs._  
  
The newspaper’s headline stunned her, a picture of _Dr. Hunter_ beneath an article which detailed the death of woman who had driven his family mad, the picture of _Dr. Niles_ nearby.  
  
Her body became deadweight, a breath stuck somewhere in her chest as she found a picture of herself staring back at her from the small monitor.  
  
The loud gasp of a neighbor caused her to snap out of her daze, seeing the coffee she had spilt into his lap; unable to verbalize an apology; she snatched her bag and raced for the door.  
  
 **Climb:**  
  
All she could see above her was bubbles, the only signal of her struggle for air beneath the water’s surface; she could remember nothing before the pitch black yet the clarity of the air pockets would be a memory she could not erase.  
  
Her muscles grew heavier, the fight nearly drained from her limbs, when a strong hand reached through the commotion of the water and gained a firm hold of her forearm – dragging her to the fresh air with one aggressive tug.  
  
The first breath of her new life belonged to him, a gift she could never fully repay.  
  
 **Death:**  
  
“You could’ve…”  
  
She shivered in the blanket he surrounded her with as his wide eyes, plagued with concern, attempted to verify how safe she truly was; anxious for answers, she fought to push words between her clattering teeth, “Wh—what hap—happened?”  
  
A fire was ignited in his bedroom brown eyes, “I can’t take jokes right now, all right, Lisa? You could’ve got yourself killed over this crazy shit.”  
  
“M—my name? Li—Lisa?”  
  
His eyes narrowed, trying to gauge the seriousness of her inquiry; rather than make a decision, he gave her an order, “Just do what I say.”  
  
 **Wash:**  
  
“Why is this happening to me?”   
  
She tried to savor his company as they sat beside the fire and his hands attempted to dry her blond locks with a heavy towel; Lisa turned to him, a mist in her reddened eyes, as she watched his mouth try to formulate an explanation.  
  
Licking his dry lips, he released a heavy sigh, “It’s a long story, and you don’t have a lot of time.”   
  
“Meaning what?”  
  
He brushed her hair away from her cheek, his voice so soft it was warmer than the robe around her, “I need you to trust me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Hold:**  
  
It took her a minute to speak, bunching her fist around the crumpled piece of paper.  
  
“Johnny, I—I know you said never to call, but…I found something out. Some news that…” Pinching her eyelids shut, she tried to choke back tears, “I’m not doing well with, and I—I need your help. Could you please call or—or come to see me?” She felt her heart twisting at its arteries, “…I’m not okay, John. I’m not okay.”  
  
Hanging up the phone, she fell to seat on the couch and tried to make the world still for a moment’s peace.  
  
 **Timing:**  
  
 _Tick tock._  
  
It sounded like the pound of a consistent drum as she waited for the phone to ring, debating how much she still needed to know.  
  
The papers painted her as a sociopath, a woman without a moral compass, who was set to ruin the lives of a family and eventually an entire town. Lisa Niles was a monster.  
  
Meanwhile, she sat with no recollection of her motivations or reasoning or if she even did the things they claimed she had; all she remembered was the water and his hand reaching to pull her out of the freezing water.  
  
 **Door:**  
  
She had barricaded herself in the small home, trying to force the memories to return; Lisa walked from one end of the room to the other until she lost count. Somewhere at step 1,452 she began to lose count of her movement and became comfortable in the repetition.  
  
The sun had gone down and came back up before she heard a knock on the door which brought her steps to an abrupt stop; she curled her fingers tight until she heard his call through the door.  
  
“It’s Johnny, open up.”  
  
In the moment she heard his voice, the world stilled.  
  
 **Extinguish:**  
  
Lisa wished she had the strength to hold back, prevent herself from seeming even crazier than before, yet the moment her eyes connected with his dark glare she had no way of stopping herself. Throwing her arms around him, she whispered the confession in his ear, “Thank you…thank you so much for coming here.”  
  
Johnny seemed to tense in her arms yet returned her embrace, “What did you do?”  
  
She pulled away immediately, slightly stunned when she spotted his worried gaze, “Wh—what do you mean?”  
  
“I can’t help you out of whatever it is unless I have details, Lisa.”  
  
 **Terminate:**  
  
“What did you find out?”  
  
She drew in a deep breath, settling in her seat on the sofa, “Everything…I found out everything about Lisa Niles.”  
  
“You found out a bunch of stories that were released by biased Port Charles press.”  
  
“So you’re telling me that it isn’t true? It’s lies?”  
  
“I’m telling you to stop digging into the past.”  
  
“Because it’s true, right?” Lisa saw his hesitation, feeling the tears bubble up in her throat, “Please, Johnny, please…don’t lie to me.”  
  
Johnny sat beside her, taking her hand in his and softening his tone, “Don’t ask. You don’t wanna know.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Business:**  
  
Lisa didn’t have to ask question to know what Johnny did to survive; she had suspected it from day one.   
  
Who else would be able to help her disappear and create an entire life at the drop of a hat? Who was able to afford for her to live comfortably, no questions asked and expect no return?  
  
When he stepped outside for an important call, she forced herself to remain still – to embrace the silence instead of his avoidant answers.  
  
Johnny did not want to her who Lisa Niles truly was, and the hesitation spoke volumes about her former life.  
  
 **Whole:**  
  
“That’s why I need to know. So I can be a complete person. I can’t atone for what I’ve done if I don’t remember any of it.”  
  
Johnny narrowed his eyes at her, “You found faith?”  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“I mean—it’s hard not to be swept up in some big idea living here. You go to church?”  
  
Lisa adjusted uncomfortable under his stare, crossing her arms, “I’ve been to the church a few times, but I—”  
  
“Then take your memory loss as part of His plan, all right? Understand that you don’t remember this stuff for a good reason.”  
  
 **Right:**  
  
“This world isn’t made of a bunch of good and evil, right and wrong, Lisa. It’s just a bunch of people trying not to get lost before the world fades to black.”  
  
“I did things so unforgivable that you don’t wanna repeat them.” She waited for him to look away, bowing her head, “Must’ve been the reason became friends or…whatever we were, isn’t it?”  
  
“We see everything, all of it, and we could still stand the sight of each other.” Johnny’s hand reached over, brushing some of her blonde man behind her shoulder, “We didn’t waste time judging each other.”   
  
**Read:**  
  
Lisa wondered if she would ever understand him the way he claimed she once had, especially his ability to be so distance before pulling her close.  
  
“You gotta eat, right? Let’s get out of here.”   
  
It was another way for him to avoid their conversation and an attempt to distract her from discovering more about her past; part of her didn’t want to fight the sensation.  
  
When his hand had found hers, guiding her to calm walk to the restaurant, she felt at ease. Only with him did she feel like no search was needed. She could just be free.  
  
 **Hunger:**  
  
Lisa was fascinated by the way he indulged; he took his time to eat yet downed wine as though it were water.   
  
Their conversation focused on nothing at all, could’ve taken place between a million people in the exact same situation; still, she memorized the curve of his crooked grin and the way the candle highlighted the brown of his bedroom eyes.   
  
She felt connected to him in a way completely inexplicable and undefined; every time she needed him, this man had come to saved her.   
  
Her silent prayer was that one day she could repay the favor, rescue him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Soldier:**  
  
“Why are we talking about this again?”  
  
Lisa had urged him to share, listening closely as he went over details of his dysfunctional family; he explained he had fallen into line as expected, even after a period of rebelling. Fighting was pointless, and it was easier to give in.  
  
“My family—did you know them, Johnny? Was I close to them?”  
  
The clear night had given the opportunity to walk along the beach, the water a black abyss she could stare at and avoid his eyes – finding his lies were far too easy to detect.  
  
“I can’t answer that, Lisa.”  
  
 **Guarantee:**  
  
“What if they’re looking for me? What if—what if they are in pain over what’s happened?”  
  
“Lisa,” Johnny waited for her to turn to him, his tone apologetic, “they’re not.”  
  
Lisa frowned, wounded, “How do you know?”  
  
“I had a service for you…after I got you out of Port Charles. I tried to give everyone closure about—the situation.” Johnny began to stroke the skin of her biceps, “No one came, Lisa. No family, no other friends, just…me.”  
  
Lisa could barely hold her head up; the brief moment of hoping someone cared enough to find her completely washed away.  
  
 **Embrace:**  
  
She had no idea how long it took to dissolve in his arms, but Lisa could only imagine it was a choice few who actually had a clue.  
  
When his arms circled around her, trying to help her with the news of her former life, she quickly decided she never wanted to leave the safety of his arms.  
  
For whatever reason, something she had done made Johnny understand her. In a way she no longer understood herself.  
  
“You’re going to be okay. You wouldn’t be here, now, if you hadn’t already been through so much. Things much worse than this.”  
  
 **Kiss:**  
  
Lisa couldn’t help herself; she had to take a chance.  
  
When Johnny didn’t push her off, she knew this was not their first kiss. Whether a beautiful figment of her imagination or memory, she remembered the taste of his lips the moment she made contact.  
  
Johnny seemed hungrier for his kiss than he had throughout their dinner, his hold tightening around her; another gorgeous detail which felt familiar and comforting to her, amplifying her desire to find solace with her hero.  
  
However, it seemed impossible when he breathlessly pulled away from her, insisting, “It’s late. I should take you home.”  
  
 **Reject:**  
  
“Johnny…”   
  
“I’ll be fine out here just—get some rest.”  
  
Lisa tried not to blame herself for his dismissal, watching as he tried to get settled on the couch. However, it was proof that her endless damage had affected Johnny. In the midst of the endless errors she had made, she must’ve done something unspeakable to him as well.   
  
“…goodnight, Johnny.” She managed to choke out the words, closing her bedroom door and collapsing onto her bed with an inevitable flood of tears.  
  
Even he, the endless support system to her chaotic life, couldn’t bring himself to be with her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Surrender:**  
  
Lisa’s sobs nearly settled, her body succumbing to sleep, when she felt his lips graze her shoulder; alerted but unafraid, she allowed his lips to stake tiny claims along her skin, offering only a soft moan of approval.  
  
When his hand gently caressed her cheek, urging her to face him, she tried remaining calm at the sight of his lustful stare; rolling over, she reached her arms out to him and accepted his weight rested upon hers as his lips finally found hers.  
  
She refused to question him, to voice a single doubt, and chose to create a new memory.  
  
 **Bed:**  
  
Though she felt weightless on the mattress, her body fully experienced every sensation; somewhere, in what was left of her awareness, she wondered how she could’ve let this man go – how she could’ve forgot belonging to him, to being part of him, to knowing his every moment as her own.  
  
She had enough sense to bite her tongue when it itched to other a word other than his name or ‘yes’ – fearful he’d disappear at the sound of anything else.  
  
Amid a wave her whole being flashed back to a memory; regardless, all she could see or feel was him.  
  
 **Toes:**  
  
Lisa let out a loud laugh, the first sign of life the morning after, at the feel of his toes grabbing at her own; she found herself obsessed with his features, scared she might lose details.   
  
She looked down at his feet rested against hers, obsessed with the way his smooth tan skin brought out vibrancy in her own; the perfect complement to one another – just as everything else seemed to be.  
  
Ebony eyes sailed up his barely sheet covered form until she found his smile, “It wasn’t a dream?”  
  
Johnny’s thumb caressed her cheekbone, “Everything between us is real.”  
  
 **Fools:**  
  
“Why did we ever walk away from this, Johnny? What really happened between us, no one else?”  
  
“I told you,” Johnny rolled onto his back, curling his arms behind his head and staring at the ceiling, “…it’s complicated.”  
  
Lisa hugged the sheet tighter against her chest, unable to stop the words from escaping her lips, “So complicated you wouldn’t try again?”  
  
Johnny’s jerked his head her direction, his eyes narrow, “Try what?”  
  
“Being with me.” Lisa curved her body to his, maneuvering her head onto his shoulder, “To make _**us**_ work now, clean slate.”  
  
“I don’t know that I can.”  
  
 **Shattered:**  
  
Lisa tried to keep it together, even managed to catch a stray tear with her thumb before he could; it was hard given Johnny was set on rejecting her; an amazing night together hadn’t changed that.  
  
“It’s not because of our past or anything you’ve done—”  
  
“And can’t apologize for because I don’t know about it.”  
  
“Look at me,” Johnny waited for her eyes to lock onto his once more, running his hands into her hair and giving it a soft grip, “you have no idea how much I care about you. What I would do to protect you.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Partners:**  
  
“I don’t know what to expect now.” Lisa tried to maintain her focus as he stroked her hair, shameless adoring all of her features, “I don’t want you to be some one night stand.”  
  
“I don’t know what can change. I don’t want to promise you something that I can’t do.”  
  
“Just tell me things have changed—somehow.”  
  
“If I didn’t care, if you were just this to me, I wanted be at your side when you called.” His touch froze at her flat stomach, his gaze awaiting hers, “You have a hold on me…more than I’d like to admit.”  
  
 **Rainbow:**  
  
 _“I have to go Port Charles; there’s business to take care of…I will be back.”_  
  
She sunk into the sand, ignoring the rain as it became more frequent and began to beat her shoulders; instead, she found herself losing fixated on the paint across the somewhat sunlit sky.   
  
His plane had left before the weather had come in; yet, she had to wonder if it was absence that made even Mother Nature shed a tear.  
  
She knew there was something dark lingering behind his sincere gaze, but she couldn’t help but long to be a part of his mysterious world.  
  
 **Self:**  
  
Lisa went on about her business, feeling like a fool as she awaited Johnny’s call. When it did not come, she debated packing her things – disappearing where even he could not find her.  
  
If she was going to make that decision, she knew she would have to return to her past; she would have to dig where Johnny cautioned her to avoid.  
  
Wrapping herself in a fleece blanket, she watched as the rain continued to keep her in her small home.  
  
Maybe it was a warning; a sign which agreed with Johnny’s certainty that the past was best left untouched.  
  
 **Closed:**  
  
The café she had visited, scratched the surface of Port Charles, had been shut down.   
  
_Under new management._   
  
Lisa knew what was behind it, was well aware Johnny was trying to help her avoid the same pit she had fallen into before; however, it sparked further curiosity for her.   
  
What could be darker than knowing her family didn’t care about her death? Knowing she had terrorized an innocent man? Just how bad or ‘wicked’ has Dr. Niles been?  
  
She caught the first bus to the other side of the island, determined to find out what she had done and why.  
  
 **Villain:**  
  
Most of what she found was gossip; each tall tale something she found buried in the back of a Port Charles magazine or a blog from a Dr. Scorpio. All of the details were vague; all complimented Dr. Niles as a genius before tearing her down as some home wrecker.  
  
 _Patrick._  
  
As his name came up repeatedly, she began to whisper it to herself. Repeating in hopes she would recall who this Mr. Perfect was and why she had been so determined to be with him.  
  
Whoever he was, Dr. Drake had to be the reason Johnny couldn’t trust her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Independent:**  
  
The bus ride home, a purse full of print outs, left Lisa entirely too long to think about what she was doing; the more she dug into the past, the more distance she would create between herself and Johnny. She knew this; it ate her insides.  
  
Johnny had given her a beautiful life; all he asked was she allow things to be revealed in their own time. He needed her to leave this secret, whatever it was, buried.  
  
However, after his visit and the line crossed between them, she could no longer live in the dark.   
  
She had to know.  
  
 **Nothing:**  
  
At first, she left the purse on the table – disturbed not one thread of its makeup.  
  
She busied herself with nonexistent housework, cleaning dishes and wiping down countertops. Folding and unfolding a basket of clothes, the scent of Johnny’s cologne lingered in her bedroom and calmed her momentarily.  
  
But no call had come since his departure, not so much as a text message, as she struggled with the decision that could change so much. Johnny was her lifeline and, without any word (no matter the reason), she was capable of a freefall.   
  
Without someone to stop her, Lisa charged ahead.  
  
 **All:**  
  
Unable to resist, she passed her silent cell phone and returned to the living room; falling into a seat on the couch, she began to pull out the papers one by one.  
  
She slowly pieced together information, gathering bits and pieces from the limited Port Charles news. Patrick Drake was embarrassed by their relationship, leaving little to the imagination as he claimed, “my indiscretions with Dr. Niles ruined my marriage, embarrassed my family, and nearly cost us our lives.”  
  
Apparently, she had been a brilliant doctor who was worthy of a fling – not much more.  
  
Beyond that, she was trouble.  
  
 **Sight:**  
  
Finally, she found more pictures: Dr. Drake, his wife, even one where they tried to shield the face of their daughter from invasive reporters.  
  
Lisa stared at the images in an attempt to force a flashback; she wanted just one of them to get her to remember the horrid details. If she had them, she was sure she could understand why her life had been stripped of everyone and everything.  
  
Among the reports, she found no sympathy. No one defending her or emphasizing any positive traits of hers, with the exception of one gossiping mother, stating, “such a sweet doctor.”  
  
 **Uncertain:**  
  
Lisa felt the phone vibrating the mattress, yet she could not tear her eyes away from the ceiling fan. The wisp of air it breathed upon her did nothing to stop the tears spilling over the apples of her cheeks and towards her ears.  
  
Any minute it would have to make sense; she would have to remember what exiled her from Port Charles. She had read some of the charges, assault and menacing. However, none of it made her remember why or how.  
  
She had wanted Patrick, so much so that other people had been ignored and her career sacrificed.


End file.
